Thank you

I've been trying to write this letter for a while now, the kind you said you'd never received. The kind I've been working on my whole life. 

I remember being 13 years old, sitting in my room all night, listening to the same song over and over. I thought that if I could write something beautiful, something honest, I could make someone love me.

I've taken a lot for granted. 

I've never tried too hard; always avoided responsibility. I came here because I was running away, 'cause I wanted to be alone. Instead I met you and you weren't taking anything for granted. 

I hope you get all the moments you deserve. I hope you go back to NY and sit in the met in the room with the painting of the Hudson river, and I hope when you do, you take Lucy with you cause I know she'd love it. 

I'm sorry if I've made your life complicated. I'm sorry for a lot of things, but most of all that I never got the chance to tell you that, no matter what happens next, I'll never be anything but grateful for every moment I spent with you. 

And even though I keep fumbling for the right words, all I really wanted to say was "Thank you".